The Money Bag

If you're under 40 years old, you probably have never seen the money bag. Truthfully, I'm not sure anyone under the age of 60 has seen one in action. For those of you unfamiliar with the money bag, it's a silk pouch about the size of a greeting card (go figure) that brides are supposed to carry around with them to receive their gifts of money. Seen mostly in old Italian neighborhoods where gifts are still given in the form of actual cash and where bills may be removed throughout the night by the gift giver in the event that certain cultural norms have been violated, the money bag is a tradition that hasn't been the norm in quite some time. An example of a gift reduction penalty might be that your wedding ceremony wasn't a full Catholic mass held by a real ordained priest. Or perhaps your best man refused to kiss old Auntie May on the lips when she went through the receiving line. Such infractions would be sure to infuriate my mother Marge, Professional Wedding Critic, and she would not only remove a twenty-dollar bill from her gift card, but would do so at the microphone while the previously-referred-to best man was trying to give his speech.

Back to the money bag. In the last several decades, the money bag has been replaced by the silk covered mailbox or the intricately woven wishing well basket set on a gift table somewhere between the front door and wedding cake. It's usually provided by the banquet facility hosting your reception, but sometimes comes in the form of a gift at the bridal shower. The plus side of this change in tradition is that, blessedly, the bride does not have to visit each guest, pushing the silk bag in between the fork and the diner's mouth, in essence, to peddle for cash. Or, Heaven Forbid, if a guest did not actually bring a stack of bills in a card, but (gasp) brought an actual wrapped present that doesn't quite fit in the money bag, it saves everyone an awkward moment.

That said, there is something very upsetting about the money bag being out of fashion. Once we took away the incentive for the bride (and groom) to visit every guest, it seems the bride and groom didn't feel it necessary to visit every guest. Professional Wedding Guests and Professional Wedding Critics are saddened by this lack of basic etiquette and want to go on the record as saying, "enough is enough." No matter how much money you have spent on your wedding, and no matter how many people you never actually met before, including your stepfather's former boss at the widget company, say "hello, how nice of you to come," and move on to the next guest.

It may not mean extra money in the bag, but the kindness and gratefulness is worth it's weight in gold...and silk.